American Idol (2011): Hollywood Week, Group Auditions

This week on American Idol was High School Week. All the drama, all the rejection, all the back-stabbing conniving behavior you let go of with the turning of the tassel was back with a vengeance.

The task at hand for the 168 remaining contestants was to pick and learn a song and choreography until they knew it like the back of their hand. The thing is that the day one contestants who had already finished up had already formed groups and started rehearsing while the remaining day one and day two contestants were still seeing if they made the cut. Their rationale was understood, but there’s no getting ahead in any competition without any real fairness. With that, they were all informed that all groups were required to have a mixture of day one and day two contestants. The facial expressions of the day one contestants who had already rehearsed were priceless, and rather reminiscent of those brown-nosing kids in school who thought they were better than everyone else until the professor shot them down. Oh, yeah. What else were they really expecting? Lesson learned: there’s no getting ahead so easily.

Now, generally, here is where the panic comes roaring in. Panic among groups of people is entertaining enough to watch from home, but — well, there’s just the wonder, if not complete hope, that release forms include at minimum three sessions of top-notch therapy.

One of the more entertaining moments of the night involved Tiffany Rios, the girl from New Jersey that we’re still not sure as to why the judges kept her as long as they did. Tiffany decided to steal one Jessica Yantz from another group; a karmic move that ended up biting them pretty hard, as they eventually were sent home. Maybe sinking ships are better seen sitting at home on the couch than under the gun, because that Miss Rios was trouble from the start. We would have felt more sorry for Jessica had she simply been smarter. It sucks being sent home, but you know what? It sucks even more having your group members taken from you. So for all of you who believe in karma, this moment is yours. Say it together now, in the words of Nelson Muntz: Ha ha!

A few strong words for former “Couples Therapy/Why haven’t you gotten back with your ex yet?” contestant Robb Bolin, who…well, who doesn’t know Cee-Lo’s “F**k You (Forget You)”? And if you want to be on top you better learn the choreography, campy or not. No one likes a little bitch. Your sappy story doesn’t factor in anymore when there are groups involved. Either you’re a star or a backup singer. Which one is it?

Back to the Exclusion Game. One group in particular had some stellar voices, including Scotty McCreary and Clint Jun Gamboa. But as good as they were, one of the highlighting moments of the night wasn’t just when the judges rubbed in their face the jerkwad move it was to dump 15-year-old Jacee Badeux, but also when he, during his performance preceding theirs, got a standing ovation for his performance. Egg, meet face. Especially when it comes to you, cowboy. We understand pressure, floating from person to person…but burning bridges and making enemies? Not necessarily the best move. Anger and rejection are two of the best motivating factors a person could have, so Cowboy? You better watch out…

Again, another major kudos to the producers for making such an epic episode, what with choice of ‘soundtrack’ and slow-motion montages, we are left wondering how it’s possible to spend two hours in front of the television and return to the same posterior groove the following night only to watch more dreams get crushed. Ah, show business.

Stay tuned, for Hollywood Week continues. Back to the solo auditions.